JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Inside a locker at Fire Station 3, Brian McCluney's clothes are exactly as he left them.
It's been three years since he worked here, but signs of him are everywhere.
“That is his helmet shield, the emblem that was on the front of his helmet,” Stephanie McCluney, his widow, said pointing to a fire truck. “Just his name and the symbol, it's just legacy, really, honor.”
Brian McCluney and his friend Justin Walker, a Virginia firefighter, vanished while boating off the coast of Port Canaveral.
“It was a fishing trip to kind of remember Brian’s father who he had suddenly lost a few weeks before, and just to make sure the boat was working properly,” Stephanie McCluney said. “These two men had been on that boat dozens of times before. We grew up on those waters. It was just another day until it wasn’t.”
A few days into the search her husband’s tackle bag was found floating off the coast of St. Augustine.
“I identified it, it had one pair of gloves one fishing map and one lure, and that was the only thing that was ever found.”
Three years later Stephanie McCluney still doesn't know what happened to her husband.
“I have not gotten any answers or closure if you will.”
Their children, just 6 and 8 years old at the time, are now 9 and 11, and often ask why.
“It became evident to me that the more you struggle with wanting to know the answers and really wanting that closure, the more I just wrestled with God,” Stephanie McCluney said. “It became more clear that it wasn't for me to know. It was protection, that maybe I couldn't carry that burden or that weight. So just leave it to Him. He's got it.”
She is moving forward in a new role working for the Jacksonville Fire and Rescue Department, helping with the department’s YouTube channel and social media accounts featuring what goes on behind the scenes.
“They stepped in and kind of said, ‘We're here for you. We've got you.’ But once they brought me on, it was really evident that ‘No, we've got you. We’re watching out for you. You are a part of us. And we're not gonna let you go.’”
And she also recently helped start a local chapter of Never Alone Widows Through it all she is finding purpose in her pain.
“My story is unique, but it is not unique. A lot of people wrestle with 'why me?' A lot of people wrestle with unanswered questions,” Stephanie McCluney said, “Never Alone, was a big part of my healing journey. It's a beautiful organization that just like infuses hope, and the hope there's a beautiful future and a beautiful story for you, and we just needed that in Jacksonville.”