LITTLE ROCK, Ark. -- We all aware of the very reasonable
Federal Aviation Administration no-nos that prohibit weapons, smoking
and "interference" with airline personnel, but the airlines have their
own rules, too. Here are five ways to get kicked off a flight.
1. Smelling like a locker room - Buying a ticket contractually
obligates you to refrain from boarding in "a malo-dor-ous condition." If
you run out of time for a shower before your flight, at least take a
sponge bath, just to be safe.
2. Bringing your germs onboard - If you appear seriously ill,
especially with a condition that seems contagious, and can't produce a
doctor's written permission to travel, you may not be allowed to fly.
3. Dressing inappropriately - Revealing clothing, including baggy
pants hanging south of the undershorts, and T-shirts broadcasting lewd
sayings or inflammatory political slogans have gotten passengers ousted.
4. Swearing like a sailor - Numerous conflicts during boarding that
could have been resolved quickly ended instead with passengers being
escorted off the plane when the confrontation escalated into dirty
5. Public displays of affection - Thanks to crowded flights with
cramped seats, very little goes unnoticed by your fellow passengers on
an airplane. So you're better off saving any overtly enthusiastic
displays of affection for your hotel room.