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JACKSONVILLE, Fla. -- It starts with the thought or that gut feeling that your partner is cheating on you; and that leads to a burning desire to find out if you are right or wrong.

After talking withseveral private investigators, here are my top ten ways to catch a cheating partner or spouse.

Number Ten:

Your partner is paying more attention to his or her grooming habits, changing styles, buying new clothes, working out. hmmmm ... getting buff may have more to do with getting in shape for someone else than it has to do with getting healthy.

Number Nine:

Your partner is making frequent trips to the ATM, spending more money than usual and you don't see where it is going. You may think it is a gambling habit; don't bet on that. Private investigators told me it is not cheap having an affair.

Number Eight:

There's a change in your sex life ... there might be less or more. But usually what waves the red flag is when your partner wants to try out new things. An investigator who deals in infidelity surveillance says your partner could be cheating with porn sites.

Number Seven:

Have you notice a change in how you communicate? Is your partner starting a fight so he or she can leave the house? That is usually a good excuse to go and meet the other person.

Number Six:

The JOB: Your partner is working a lot of sudden overtime. This is easy to verify. To borrow the line from Jerry Maguire -- "Show me the Money."

Number Five:

Your partner has client meetings but every time you try to reach him or her ... your partner is not where he or she is supposed to be and that could be a good reason to be suspicious.

Number Four:

Remember when your partner used to be content, enjoying time with the family? Now that has been replaced with restlessness and a desire to be anywhere except with the family.

Number Three:

Your partner is finding all types of faults with you. This is his or her way of justifying the cheating. Watch the behaviors.

Number Two:

Another behavior change: Your partner is suddenly paying more attention to you, being more lovey dovey. This is usually at the start of the infidelity.

Number One:

The cell phone ... when your partner is on the phone and you enter the room all of a sudden your partner lowers his or her voice or even leaves the room to finish the conversation. The kicker is if the phone has a passcode and your partner refuse to share the code ... hmmm.

Now what do you do if all the evidence points to what you feared the most? The private investigatorssaid the truth can be very painful. But they suggest you talk to your partner. At that point you can decide to work it out, maybe by talking to a counselor, or you can decide to end the relationship.

Investigators said facing the facts of a cheating partner will be one of the most difficult things you will ever have to deal with.

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