JACKSONVILLE, Fla. -- Rayne Perrywinkle, 45, said she is having nightmares and everyday it seems to get worse.
Perrywinkle is the mother of 8-year old Cherish who was kidnapped and murdered in June.
Timeline: The death and abduction of Cherish Perrywinkle
"I tried to be as protective over my children as I could," said Perrywinkle. "I taught them everything about stranger danger, about taking candy from strangers, the puppy trick but he was smarter than I was."
Police have arrested and charged Donald Smith, a convicted sexual predator, which Cherish's death. Smith is awaiting trial.
Perrywinkle wants the public to know that she is a mother in pain who misses her daughter.
"I wouldn't wish this on anyone," she said. "I did not foresee this coming."
In the wake of her oldest daughter's death, the state removed her younger children. They're now in state custody.
"It is the darkest cloud I've ever had over my head ever, and I can't shake it," said Perrywinkle. "It eats you up and the nausea I feel the pain the agony, I don't want any mom to go through what I'm going through."
Perrywinkle, who was visibly shaken when talking about her experience, is angry that anyone would blame her for what happened. She said to blame her is to make her a victim twice
"I feel a lot of people blame me for this," she said.
Perrywinkle said her focus now is to reunite with her two daughters, ages 6 and 4.
DCF takes other children from mother of Cherish
"I have a long battle ahead and I have to fight for Cherish and I have to fight for all the other children," said Perrywinkle.
She is scheduled to attend a hearing Thursday and said she has legal representation to fight for her children.
She expressed concern about the funds that were established to help her deceased daughter. Perrywinkle said she has yet to see any of the funds and doesn't know how the money is being spent.
"I cry everyday," said Perrywinkle.
First Coast News