Seth MacFarlane dreamed up that lewd but likable teddy bear Ted.(Photo: Richard Shotwell, Invision, via AP)
He came from out of nowhere and left fur stuffing everywhere. Ted, the lewd teddy bear dreamed up by Family Guy
creator Seth MacFarlane who starred opposite Mark Wahlberg in the
self-titled, R-rated summer comedy, would do $219 million in box office,
becoming the sleeper hit of the year. Ted (as scripted by MacFarlane
and pals Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild) reflects on his ascension.
Ted, congratulations on being USA TODAY's comedian of the year. This
must change everything. What did you first think about a movie being
done on your life?
A: Well first of all, thank you very much for
the honor! I love USA TODAY. It's the only newspaper I can comprehend
when I'm stoned. Now to your question: It was a little weird that they
did a movie about my life and not a series of books by David McCullough.
After all, my life is best appreciated when put into its proper
Q: What's Mark Wahlberg like to work with?
A:: Sexy, and I mean that in the straightest way possible.
Q: What's the key to good comedy?
A: A slippery banana peel and a proud fat guy.
Q: How has your life changed since Ted was a hit? Do you see future movies?
A: Yeah, since the movie came out, I get mobbed in public all the
time. I wear a baseball cap and sunglasses, but somehow everyone still
knows it's me. And yes, I do see future movies. I recently took my time
machine to 2035 where I saw a future movie called 2089 about the
end of the world, so then I took my time machine to 2099 to see what
happened, and the earth was just fine, but there was a movie called 2137 about the end of the world, so I had to go to 2138 ... and this went on for some time.
Q: How would you describe your acting style?
A: An ostentatious display of restraint.
Q: Anyone special in your life?
A: Yes, her name is Brazzers.
Q: Where did you pick up such salty language?
When I was little, I accidentally stepped on Bill O'Reilly's toe in an
airport. I learned all I needed to in the next eight minutes.
Q: Were you disappointed you weren't asked to host the Oscars? What do you think of MacFarlane being the host?
A: I feel like Kim Jung-eun would have been a more popular choice to host the Oscars.
Q: There was a lot of drug use in Ted. Do you have a problem with addiction?
A: Let's just say I'm always expecting to be led into a crappy hotel
room with Jeff VanVonderen or Candy Finnigan (of the A&E show, Intervention).
Q: What actors - animal, human or otherwise - do you admire?
A: Martin Short makes me laugh until I'm crying. Check out "I, Martin Short, Goes Hollywood" if you can find it. Ridiculous!
Q: What's next for you?
A: 24 hours of video games in a diaper.