'Playing for Keeps' is one for the re-gifting pile

Playing for Keeps is a throwaway movie if ever there was one.

The shenanigans of randy soccer moms and their obnoxious blowhard husbands are intended as comic relief. But the sappy plot of this formulaic romantic comedy (* 1/2 out of four; rated PG-13; opening Friday nationwide) is just as silly as its inane attempts at farce.

A predictable tale with lackluster performances, it has virtually nothing to recommend it except a 10-year-old actor who outshines the veteran cast.

With his soulful brown eyes, and precocious use of language, young Noah Lomax deserves a better vehicle for his screen debut.

Gerard Butler plays George Dryer, a former soccer star who's now a debt-riddled ne'er-do-well. After failed stints in real estate and as a restaurateur, he moves to suburban Virginia to re-connect with his 9-year-old son Lewis (Lomax). Being in closer proximity to his ex-wife Stacie (Jessica Biel) also is part of the game plan. George has never gotten over her, though she is now engaged to Matt (James Tupper). George decides to reinvent himself as a sportscaster and spends his days listlessly making demo reels and dodging his landlord. He takes charge at one of Lewis' soccer practices, leading a slew of helicopter parents to press George into coaching duty.

It's hard to say who benefits more from this arrangement - the players or their well-heeled moms. The women spend practices ogling, flirting and chasing after the hunky former athlete. Let the panting begin.

Even the dads are starry-eyed in George's presence. Dennis Quaid plays a despicable businessman, throwing wads of cash and a bright red Ferrari at the new coach to make sure his son gets to play and his daughter has the chance to perform her tone-deaf version of the national anthem before the games.

Biel is blandly earnest and has little chemistry with Butler, who forges a more believable bond with young Lomax.

. It's a shame to see such talented actresses as Catherine Zeta-Jones and Uma Thurman reduced to cardboard-cutout sexpot roles. Thurman plays a wealthy matron, married to Quaid. She has only a few lines and utters most of them while in her underwear. Zeta-Jones is a former ESPN reporter who offers to help George into a sportscasting gig and out of his pants.

Also fluttering around is Judy Greer, who plays a tremulous divorcee. Something about the hunky George makes her repeatedly bursts into tears, until she finds her way to his bachelor pad and bed. Eventually most of the moms make their way there, uninvited, as if each is equipped with a passion-seeking GPS.

Butler has developed an unerring instinct for picking some of the worst movies then coasting on the Scottish charm that served him well earlier in his career. His cute-scruffy appeal has worn thin. His choices ping-pong from thuddingly generic rom-coms (The Bounty Hunter, The Ugly Truth) to such violence-drenched revenge thrillers as Law Abiding Citizen and Machine Gun Preacher. He never comes close to rising above the leaden material.

Striving for heartwarming but settling for cloying, Playing for Keeps is no keeper.

USA Today