During his televised remarks from his Wednesday cabinet meeting, President Trump vowed to beef up the country's libel laws, in the wake of incendiary claims made by journalist Michael Wolff in the new book Fire and Fury, North Korea's new favorite read.
Unsurprisingly, the late-night hosts had some thoughts about that.
Jimmy Kimmel Live
"Trump unveiled one of his bigly items from his agenda for the new year," Jimmy Kimmel said. "This is something every American is concerned about: Strengthening libel laws to punish those who write unflattering books about you."
Trump had argued, "We want fairness. You can't say things that are knowingly false and be able to smile as money pours into your bank account."
An incredulous Kimmel replied, "Oh, come on now: Saying knowingly false things as money pours into your bank account? Not only is that Trump's business plan in its entirety, but it's literally what they're going to write on his headstone."
Sighing, he added, "There are parakeets flying into mirrors with more self-awareness than Donald Trump."
Later, Kimmel noted that Trump had reached a major milestone: "According to the Washington Post, which has been keeping track, yesterday, Trump told his 2000th lie since taking office. So happy Lie2K, everybody."
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
Colbert, whose show will air live after the president's State of the Union speech on Jan. 30, noted how Trump was still fuming over the allegations in Wolff's book. "And in response to this momentary aggravation, he has a modest plan to destroy the First Amendment."
He added, "Before Trump puts together these new libel laws, I just want to say that Donald Trump is the illegitimate love child of a racist manatee and a deflated balloon."
Why stop there?
Colbert continued, "Donald Trump set fire to the Hindenberg and once told me on the record he enjoyed the movie Suicide Squad. See ya in court."