Combined, the two officers were involved in 15 shootings.
"It is something you don't want to talk about," Richardson said.
Varner was involved in six shootings. Richardson was involved in nine.
One person died and that the decision to fire left Richardson with questions.
"There is always ‘what could I have done?’ You play the scenario over and over again and live with it because this was in my old neighborhood I grew up at," he said. "I knew the young man. I knew his family."
One person also died as a result of Varner's decision to fire. All of their shootings were ruled justifiable by a police review board, but they remained in their memories.
"There's an emotional burden," Richardson said. "And for me, it is a big emotional burden because I am a believer [in God] and I was going into ministry. I am wondering ‘Lord did I do the right thing?’"
For Varner, the shooting that comes to his mind is the one that left the suspect scarred for life.
"In one of my shootings the guy ended up losing his leg," Varner said. "He had to have his leg amputated. I constantly think about that person. He had a family."
The emotional burden, the intense scrutiny from the police review board and the impact it takes afterward can all impact an officer's judgment for the next time.
After his last shooting, Richardson decided to transfer back to patrol and learned the impact of his decision to fire.
"First night back in patrol here I am in a position where nothing would happen," he said. "Here comes a kid shooting at another kid. When I chase him he opened fire on me. I could feel the bullets. I hesitated because I wanted to be sure I was justified, and hesitation can cost you your life."
Over the years some of their peers have lauded them for their shootings, but have been quick to discourage them.
"You don't come to work hoping to get in a shooting," Varner said. "You want to come to work to help some people and go home."